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Allie Kaelin

We Know Fight or Flight, But What Is The Freeze Response?

We’re all familiar with the term “fight or flight response” It’s taught in school, it’s used in everyday conversations, and I bet the more you think about it, the more you’ll realize how often your mind goes into a “fight or flight” mentality. 


Fight or Flight Response

Fight or flight is an innate response animals and humans are born with and that our bodies know how to rely on when we feel threatened. While fight and flight serve the same purpose (to keep you alive!), we are naturally drawn to the behavior that most aligns with our personalities.  


Let’s think about this with animals. It’s safe to say that if a bear feels threatened, the bear will fight - and most likely win. But what about a little bunny who can sense a coyote is nearby? As hard as that little bunny might try, it was not built to fight. The bunny survives by taking flight, in a way a bear would never be able to do. 


As familiar as this sounds, it can sometimes (or always) feel like we’re not the bear or the bunny. We don't conciously choose a fight or flight response. But if I’m not fighting, and I’m not fleeing, what’s going on? 


What is the Freeze Response?

Sometimes running away (flee) or standing up to the threat (fight) is not what feels the safest for your body. In that situation, you innately know that the best option is to stay – but to be silent, tune out, not engage, maybe feel numb. This is called the “freeze” response. 


The freeze response often comes out in situations where we feel small, disrespected, almost as if we don’t matter. Your brain realizes this would be a perfect opportunity to offer some form of protection and automatically silences you. Think about those situations where someone caught you off guard and you think of the perfect thing to say back... hours after it happened. 


Even though it’s protecting you, the freeze response can be frustrating and feel limiting. Sometimes people have judgment towards themselves for having a recurring freeze response as feeling “weak,” even though it’s a totally unconscious survival instinct. You might be frozen, but you’re not stuck. Understanding your natural responses in stressful situations can help you move towards a behavior that feels more beneficial for you. 


If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated in unconscious fight, flight or freeze patterns, I'd love to help you shift towards responses that feel more conscious, powerful, and authentic for you. Therapy can be the perfect place to explore this - schedule your free 15 minute consultation to see how we can get started for therapy in Dublin, CA today!


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